Rick & Monique Are Your Counseling Team
Welcome! We are Real Connections Counseling, LLC. Our names are Rick & Monique Elgersma, and we are Couples and Family Therapists working primarily in the Greater Des Moines, IA area.
We focus our work for couples. Our deliberate attention on couples allows the benefits from your relationship work we do together with you to flow down to helping couples, families, individuals, and children move through – and past – difficult transitions, trouble, anxiety, depression, anger, infidelity, infertility, loss, and/or confusion. Our work is to help clients give themselves their best opportunity to grow their lives into a flourishing and beautiful life. Our counseling agency is located in the heart of the Des Moines area – Urbandale, IA!
NOTE that we do not take insurance. BUT WE DO ACCEPT various modes of payment including your HSA and FSA, cash, check, ACH bank transfer, and all credit cards.
We Love Our Work – Co-Counseling!
Our life as counseling partners is also our life’s work. We bring our own unique personalities and approaches to counseling that actually becomes a unique asset to our couples and families: we work together as co-counselors! We are a couple, that does couples counseling – together – with another couple.
Our couple clients have thoroughly enjoyed the experience of working through counseling with another couple. We formed an amazing co-counseling relationship throughout our education, having attended graduate school together – and together we graduated from Regis University in Colorado with Marriage and Family Therapy Masters degrees, both with honors.
Read more about co-counseling and how having both of us with you during our time in counseling can help you! Co-Counseling
Who is Real Connections Counseling?
Rick and Monique Elgersma
We have together experienced the darkest trials, from infertility, to miscarriage, major depression, significant losses, deaths of people close to us, and a spouse’s disability.
Rick’s life as a husband and experience with Spina Bifida, an often deadly or crippling birth defect, has been one of both travesty and triumph that has him walking tall while struggling daily with pain. Monique navigates the roles of wife, mother, and caregiver.
Monique’s childhood growing up in the military has provided a unique history of frequent moves, loss, varied cultures, and independence. And yet, we’re just a couple in love.
We practice relationship daily. We’d like to say that practice goes well every day, but it doesn’t. So we’ve also used marriage therapy to help make us better. You can too. You can see how we can be a value to you as a counselor, or especially co-counselors.
Our Approach
Monique and Rick sometimes use differing approaches to counseling, but that doesn’t mean we’re out of sync. We plan our unique approaches into the session so you get the best of who we are as people, a couple, and as your counselors. We do whatever is necessary together to help our client couples feel heard, respected, achieve goals, and heal. Our focus of relational therapy does not differ. As a couple, and couples counselors, we counsel “relational living.”
Relational living is recognizing that people exist better, and more healthful, when in relationships. We recognize that all people desire good relationships in many environments: from church committees, to community involvement, work situations, and life at home. And not only do those relationships affect you, but you affect those relationships! When you give dedicated attention to healthy relationships, you make your surrounding environment better, too.
Our work and background includes working with couples and families in mentoring and counseling, but we use a variety of modalities to build healthy attachment with partners – that impact friends and family as well: Relational Life Therapy, Gottman and conflict resolution techniques are the most common.
Psycho-education and practice in a safe environment, tied together with homework, helps reinforce new skills and create long-term success. Rick will also pull in his narrative therapy approach, and Monique will use some play therapy techniques with couples (and families) as well. Married for over 22 years, we also get the privilege of offering co-therapy – doing couples therapy, as a couple, with another couple!
As a part of Real Connections Counseling LLC, we can offer parenting classes, play therapy, all-day seminars, topical groups, marriage intensive retreats, and some individual work, along with our couples therapy.
Our Heart Meets Your Story
I’ll tell you a short story. When I (Rick) was recovering from one of fourteen difficult surgeries, I told Monique – while still using a walker – that she and I would ride and finish RAGBRAI (Register’s Annual Bike Ride Across Iowa), a ride of seven days, and hundreds of miles … and the event was only months away.
We trained and practiced. We worked out at the gym 5 days a week and rode our bikes several days of the week as well. One training ride took us to a long hill, so we began the push up the hill. But Monique stopped a little more than halfway up, completely worn. Monique seemed disheartened, and told me, “We must be crazy, I don’t know if I can do it. You just go on up ahead.” I looked at her and said, “Yes we can. We’ll make it. I’m with you. Together or not at all.”
That phrase, “together or not at all”, has become our life-motto, but can also be yours. Monique and I spurred each other on, and trained hard as we looked forward to the cycling event. Our first training ride ever took us 3.4 miles. But on one of the seven days of RAGBRAI, the ride took us over 85 miles! We had done it together. We’ve done many days together. What’s possible for you? We can discover your possible together, too.
And so it is with our clients. They are the experts of their lives, and we ally with them throughout our counseling relationship. We stand together with them…with you, too. Now you know our heart; Real connections matter.
Call Or Write, Now!
Call us at 515-635-1805 to make your first appointment with Monique, Rick, or both of us together in as your co-counselors! You can also fill out the email form for more information. Have questions before you make an appointment? Great! We’re ready and able to answer your questions. When you come the first time, you’ll have another opportunity to consult with us about therapy before you decide to be our client. Our guarantee is that counseling is a mutual opportunity, but one that you ultimately control throughout our time together. We’ll be with you as counseling guides as you make you better. Remember, you can also send us an email using the email form on this (right sidebar), or any other Real Connections Counseling page. We look forward to meeting you!
What Clients Have Said About Us
#1: “The cards were fun! We’d hang out on our back deck gas fire pit after the kids went to bed, and talk. Our oldest said ‘mom these people you and dad are seeing must be doing something because you haven’t had a fight in a while….its been nice.’ It has been.” – D. B. –
#2: “Thank you for what you’re doing for my family. We can finally see who we can be for each other. This has been so great for us!” – Anonymous –
#3: “Everyone needs a Rick & Monique in their lives!” – Lisa & Derek –
Our Counselors & Therapists
Rick Elgersma, MAMFT, M. Litt
Master of Letters, Family Life Education, Oxford Graduate School (2011)
Master of Arts, Marriage & Family Therapy, Regis University (2015)
- Registered as a Marriage and Family Therapist Candidate with the state of Colorado
- Registered Temporary License in Marriage and Family Therapy in the state of Iowa
- Internship Peak View Behavioral Health, inpatient facility (CO)
Professional Involvement
- Delta Kappa, Kappa Chapter – MFT Honor Society
- Chi Sigma Iota, Rho Upsilon Chi Chapter – Counseling Honor Society
- Former Board Member, Colorado Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (COAMFT)
- American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT)
- International Association of Trauma Professionals (IATP)
Honors
- Delta Kappa, Kappa Chapter – MFT Honor Society, April 2014
- Chi Sigma Iota, Rho Upsilon Chi Chapter – Counseling Honor Society, Feb 2015
- Leadership Award, 2012
Just Plain Tired
Sometimes life is not ok. Monique and I have been challenged by significant trauma, and it was exhausting. Tough things can be tiring, and can make you feel stuck, frustrated, angry, worried, sad, even despaired. Your marriage and relationship has been damaged, you guys have fought through depression, terrible loss, or infidelity and you’re weary. I’m sorry you’ve been hit with such things, and you may think there isn’t a way out. But that’s not necessarily true.
Healing takes hard work, but it can happen. But what does healing even look like? That’s an often a confusing question. But when it feels like your relationship has gone from bad to worse, and you don’t feel understood anymore, seeing a counselor may be the most important decision of your life. I want you to know you are not the problem, the problem is the problem. Doesn’t always feel like it, I know. But it’s a good place to start. I’m blessed to work with couples, especially when Monique and I both get to be part of you together for awhile. Know this. You’ve got this.
My Work & Experience
Along with the other therapy methods mentioned under “Our Approach,” I use narrative therapy with couples (and families), where we experience your relational story as it is and reimagine the potential of your story. I’ve also gained experience with couples and families while working at an an acute mental health hospital.
I’m a Christian. I love faith. When you have faith, doubt, belief, or grief questions, I’ll be right there with you as answers are sought and gained. My family has experienced faith-bending trauma and we coped together, and with individual uniqueness… and we’re stronger for it. I have a heart for those struggling with loss and depression, and will work with some individuals that find themselves needing someone to walk through those tough places.
Your relational health is my passion. Good relationships can emerge from rough situations. Counseling works. We’ll go where you need. Your life matters. I’ll help you make your lives better!
Type of Counseling Service
Monique Elgersma, MAMFT
Master of Arts, Marriage & Family Therapy
- Regis University, May 2015
- Registered as a Marriage and Family Therapist Candidate with the state of Colorado
- Registered Temporary License in Marriage and Family Therapy in the state of Iowa
- Internship at Fort Carson, Abrams Elementary (CO)
- Experience with Peak View Behavioral Health, inpatient facility (CO)
Professional Involvement
- President 2014-2016, Delta Kappa, Kappa Chapter – MFT Honor Society
- Board Member, Delta Kappa, Kappa Chapter – MFT Honor Society (2014-2017)
- Board Member, Chi Sigma Iota, Rho Upsilon Chi Chapter – Counseling Honor Society (2015-2017)
- Member 2013-2016, Colorado Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (COAMFT)
- Member 2013-current, American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT)
- Member 2017-current, Iowa American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy
Honors
- Excellence in Leadership, May 2015
- Delta Kappa, Kappa Chapter – MFT Honor Society, April 2014
- Chi Sigma Iota, Rho Upsilon Chi Chapter – Counseling Honor Society, Feb 2015
- Leadership Award, 2012
Just Plain Stuck
If you feel like you are stuck in a cycle, especially in your couple relationship, let me help you break it and develop a closer, healthier connection! I have a background in military families, culture adaptation, depression, grief & loss, foster care, adoption, infertility, miscarriage, and marriage issues for couples with a spouse disability. Born to first-generation immigrants, growing up a military ‘brat’ while living in various places and a significant amount of time overseas and add in changing careers mid-stride, taught me to adapt to different cultures, frequent changes, and a variety of environments. I specialize in couple/relational, marriage and family with an emphasis on building healthy communication within the family.
My Work & Experience
I have mentored and counseled individuals from children and adolescents to adult women, couples, and families, but I have a deep heart for couples. Occasionally I work with individuals as well. I have worked with those that have had significant spiritual struggles. My personal spiritual history is Christian. If you are struggling with what you believe, or with being abused or judged unfairly by those that should have cared for you with a Christ-like love can leave deep, dark scars, affecting you for years. Let’s find healing and grace together, individually or as a couple.
Type of Counseling Service
Causes That Are Important To Us
The Exodus Road
The people working with The Exodus Road believe that the lives of the 27 million slaves matter! They’re goal? Rescue as many of them as possible. They employ volunteers all over the world who are trained to find, root out, and catch criminal human traffickers, and rescue their slaves. Many slaves are under the age of 18… many enslaved boys and girls are sex slaves.
These kids are forced to endure multiple “johns” per night who have who have paid to have their way with them. You can support the efforts of The Exodus Road, and maybe even become a part of their team. They need you. The lives of the trafficked, and their stories matter, and your story can be part of theirs.
www.theexodusroad.com
Restore Innocence
The Restore Innocence motto is, “Let’s build a world without human trafficking.” This small, Colorado-based organization makes a large dent against the world of human trafficking.
An estimated 100,000 to 300,000 children in the United States are at risk of capture into slavery. The passionate people at Restore Innocence aim to prevent their capture. But that’s not all. They also aim to rescue and restore minors who have been captured and used for horrible things, including forced sex. Their resources aide multiple rescues every year! Furthermore, they employ volunteers to work as mentors for those who have been rescued, and who are being restored. You can help them make a dent by giving through their site, or by becoming a trained volunteer! There’s inspiring and awesome – but difficult – work to be done! You can be part of that. They need you. The lives of the trafficked, and their stories matter, and your story can be part of theirs.
www.restoreinnocence.org
Spina Bifida
Spina Bifida remains a leading crippler of children. Some do live past their first day, or week. Rick of Real Connections Counseling was born with the worst kind of Spina Bifida. Spina Bifida myelomeningocele. He could have died soon after birth. But, he lived. He was given smaller hope that he would ever walk. Doctors warned that he would never be rid of braces. When he shed his braces at 8 years old, doctors scratched their heads, and he and his parents never looked back.
Rick is a miracle story. He went on to play sports, trumpet, sing in choirs, and achieve a masters education, even though he suffered a Spina Bifida -related learning disability! He’s ridden a bicycle across Iowa, climbed mountains, and hiked many trails. He suffers crushing chronic pain, and has endured many surgeries. Yet he charges on. He and his bride, Monique (also of RCC) have by their lives, struggles and achievements, given hope to many who thought they could not achieve. They live beyond limits together, and exist to empower others, and their relationships, to do and be limitless. The SBAA does the same.
The SBAA has expended untold resources to the aid of people who have Spina Bifida. They also to search for cures, and new ways to provide aid through resources such as education and scholarships. The SBAA needs your support. They need you. The lives of people with Spina Bifida, and their stories matter, and your story can be part of theirs. And that can happen through this link:
