Get ready for FIVE ESSENTIAL KEYS to your relational palace. We’ve got A MOST IMPORTANT relationship plan that can take you over the threshold of a new, beautiful, hopeful, growing and flourishing relationship. The keys you’ll form today can mean relational health for you and your partner, your loved ones, and your community.
But first, Monique and I experience such sadness to see relationships break. We have been touched by divorce seemingly over and over again. Divorce often, maybe even most often leaves a mark that makes each person vulnerable to emotional, psychological, mental, and spiritual vulnerability. Some people are left with a deep-seeded anger. Others are left with self-doubt, relational doubt, and without hope. Still others feel victimized at every turn.
Staying together for couples that have remarried have proved to be even more difficult to stay together than it was the first marriage. There may be many reasons for this. But that doesn’t mean hope is lost, no. Now is the time we can rebuild our relational capability, and our capacity for life-time lasting love. But this takes practice. Even those who’ve achieved great skill at anything need to keep up their fundamental skills with practice. You do not need to let your circumstances, or anyone around you erode your freedom to live well in relationships. With practice you can learn to pursue life, liberty, and the pursuit of relational happiness!
Five keys. The five keys are YOUR ANSWERS TO FIVE ESSENTIAL questions. Your answers behind these keys can be enough to open the door of your relationship and you’ll walk through the threshold into something special and incredible. Practice and you’ll be able to remodel your relationship house into something truly breathtaking. We’re not hiding a membership, or a price tag behind these keys. We’re giving them to you COMPLETELY FREE. Because a relationship should ADD value, ADD goodness, and ADD richness to your life.
Monique and I had to answer these questions. We did it the hard way. We had to realize what seemed like the worst of us in order to really want the best. We built these FIVE ESSENTIAL KEYS with our sweat and tears. We stumbled in the relational dark. When these were finally built, we couldn’t believe how much clearer we became about who we were as individuals, and how and who we were together!
Go ahead now, put answers behind these FIVE ESSENTIAL KEYS. Practice them, and we’ll be at the ready to advance you into deeper and richer relational palaces. That’ll take practice and preparation too. Just remember, trying is not practice. “I tried” simply won’t get you there. Practice will.
Now, on to the FIVE ESSENTIAL KEYS!
1. 🗝 What Is The Best Version Of You?
This can be fun to answer, but also a bit painful sometimes. That’s ok, practicevsometimes hurts! That’s normal! Get through it and you’ll be in the best relational shape of your life! You get to invent a new normal for the real you! Who are you? Is the real you so argumentative that you isolate others away from you? Is the real you one that wants to stand against the ones you love? Is the real you the one that can’t forgive? But there there are fun things to consider here too! You are funny! You are smart! You may be a good conversationalist, or maybe you are a good leader. You could be spiritually strong, or you could be good at bringing people together. You might even be an awesome lover! You could be someone who’s good at finishing projects, or maybe you’re awesome at planning creative dates. Maybe the best version of you is faithful, is good, is kind, is loving. Is the best version you full of joy, peace, patience, or self-control? Tell me! Better yet, tell you! What is the best version of you?
2. 🗝 What Do You Gain When You Commit?
Now this question can take some time to answer. You might not have had examples of all you can gain from from the best you when you take time to commit, but this is a worthy and rewarding conversation. Because it can turn into a plan full of healthy relational boundaries, and wonderful rules for life. So let me get you started. When you commit, you gain a life partner, and someone with whom you’re strong and safe. You gain integrity. You gain hope. You gain stability. You gain your best place for laughing, and hoping. There’s much more. Much, much more. Go on! Work this question through, and it can one “aha” moment after another.
3. 🗝 What Do You Lose When You Don’t Commit?
Well, this sounds like a downer! But nope. This is an essential question that will be an essential part of vision building, of dream making. Insight about gains and losses creates momentum and builds a graceful, merciful you. Trust us on that. But here are a few options that you may want to add to your own answer. A potential loss is the loss is your best friend. Another loss might be security. You may lose togetherness, may lose laughs, may lose a great listener. You may lose a great cook! You’d lose someone who’s truly good, or someone who truly believed in you. You may lose your sense of control. You could lose family, or even friends. Remember this list helps you establish the vision for what you need to practice, and that’s a good thing.
4. 🗝 What Does He/She Gain From You?
While this might sound much like the first question, when you open the conversation you’ll find it’s a unique question all to its own. What does your partner gain from you? Maybe you’re a good confidant. He/she gains a partner and/or gains a best friend. He or she may gain a creative carpenter, or an awesome deal maker. He/she may gain someone who’s good with numbers, a patient person, or even someone who can change oil in the car (a friend we know is learning all kinds of things a mechanic should know. She’ll be awesome for her relationship!). What if he/she is a good golfer? That could be a great gain for him/her! Maybe he/she is good at helping you pursue your goals. A creative lover, a good listener, and a positive person could also be part of the list. So have some fun with it. Go for it!
5. 🗝 What can you both do for each other to make you both better?
Tell each other what he/she ALREADY DOES to positively encourage you? The list may have quite a lot on it, maybe not. That’s just fine. The point isn’t to laugh at your lack of alist. You won’t even attempt to open the door to a RELATIONSHIP PALACE if it’s filled with sarcasm and hurt.
Then add more things that would be encouraging to him/her? Write them down. This can be fun and eye opening. What if he/she signed you up with a personal trainer so you could be strong and healthy? Maybe exercise TOGETHER. Monique and I did this and through it we became a formidable together-or-not-at-all couple! What would be encouraging? Let us start you on the path. Maybe you could do the filing once a week because it’s a task that has to be done, but it will also mean less clutter which makes your significant other feel more peaceful. That’s encouraging! Maybe your partner would love you to scratch your back at night because after long days this helps you relax and sleep more peacefully. Really? Yep. This is an actual list item for one couple. Maybe you can plan a weekly date. Believe me, dates can be made without much need for money. He/she needs time, attention, and conversation. You can give that to your partner! He/she would be so encouraged that you honor the need. Maybe your spouse wants a kiss before you drift off to sleep? Maybe he/she wants to hear the words “I love you” every morning. Maybe he/she just needs you to plan dinner one night a week. Shoot, it can be frozen pizza, just as long as your partner doesn’t have to plan it! So encouraging. My wife wants me to do the laundry on a particular day so she knows that the cloths she needs for work will be there. She’ll be encouraged by this act of love for her.
There you go. FIVE ESSENTIAL KEYS. And they’re FREE! Remember that the keys won’t turn until you fill the key grooves with your answers, so go to it now. Your oasis behind the door will remain part of you when you act now. Relational champions are made of practicers! Some of you have broken locks. It’s important to talk through some great things that’ll MAKE some relationships, SAVE some relationships, and IMPROVE already good relationships. PRACTICE the art of communication, and doing relationships. But HERE’S SOMETHING THAT MAYBE YOU DIDN’T NOTICE! The FIVE ESSENTIAL KEYS will not only show you into a most amazing relationship space, but the KEYS will also reveal a more BEAUTIFUL YOU! You want that? I know you do! We want that for us, and we want that for you! Do this now, because in a flash it’ll be out of your memory bank! Poof, just like that it’ll be gone. Take these five KEYS and copy them to a place where you can begin this fulfilling work.
FIVE ESSENTIAL KEYS will open a space to you that is BETTER, RICHER, AND MORE BEAUTIFUL than any space you’ve known or imagined. And you are the masters of the house.
Ok so, we’re a little excited about this.
We can help you get started if you like. We’re about real connections … it’s even in the name, Real Connections Counseling. We can help you fill in, and learn to practice. Click this link: http://www.realconnectionscounseling.com/services/ and complete the form on the right of the page. We’ll get back to you soon after and book some time together! But go ahead now. You got this. We can help, but you can do this right now. Your answers are the grooves of your FIVE ESSENTIAL KEYS. When you’ve grooved your fifth key you’ll realize that you’ve created a way to be better together … together!